The Def Guide to Zzap!64

Dear website owners,

How dare you sell your Magazine collection DVD's at the same price for non UK people!!! These Magazines were British through and through, and I do not like the fact that as a Brit, I in effect, pay full price and those damn foreigners get a discount! Let them eat cake I say!!!! Yes, you had the odd "letter from America", but that letter was always very odd, just showing how good it was that ZZAP and the other mags were British through and through!

Give UK residents who were buyers and supporters of the original printed mags a discount I say - and let them yankees and others pay the proper postage on their copies!

If you don't do as I say I will bomabrd you with emails with a 387k jpeg of me in my Union Jack boxers! Now sort yourselves out you bunch of weedie wonders!!!!

Disgusted,

Lord Brit of the Arndale Centre, Wandsworth

Oh deary me.. I would get an email like this when Mort's away on holidays!

Well anyway, it's all Mort's fault and all complaints should be directed to him. I'm just the middle man taking my cut, nothing to do with me guv, more than my jobs worth etc. etc.

p.s. the reason is mainly due to easiness, the order system at the mo can't really handle loads of different postage prices. But I am messing around with Paypal's API's so maybe in the future there'll be a fancy Zzuperstore front end.

In the meantime I'm sure your great foriegn friends will thank you for subsidising their postage costs!

Iain wrote:
In the meantime I'm sure your great foreign friends will thank you for subsidising their postage costs!

How dare you end your reply with a total insult to me! Foreign friends?! Pish Posh!!! I say it again, Pish Posh! What have they ever done for me? Sure, helped us win World War II, but we would have won 2 weeks later anyway! Sends us fancy fruits from far away places? Hey - Cock's apples never did me any harm!! And all this "is it color or colour?" blurbelness!! -Well, I ask you!!!!! One's bliming French and the other American - so their taking over!

Even you yourself, my boy, have picked up one of those nasty Yankee bugs - "passing the buck"!!!!

Mmmm. I will wait a while and see what paspires!

Yours Lord Brit, Lord of everything I see from Wandsworth High Street to Garratt Lane!!!!

You aren't a relative of Lloyd are you? You seem to have a similar writing style

I fear you are a little sore over the whole foreign thing, perhaps it's because the "Great British" empire only extends to an island off Argentina and Northern Ireland these days?

Besides the bird flu will kill of the ravans in the Tower of London and that'll be the end of the Queen.

Any how, I must be off, there's a union jack burning, in the field tonight.

My Cousin has taken action to make sure the Sun (Tuesday Edition) never sets on the British Umpire!

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/london/4734402.stm


Yours,

Lord Brit

Part owner of Dolcis shoe stores, the Parthanen and 21 Arcadia Avenue, Newport.

Indeed, I read that myself a couple of days ago, but it depends who has the keys really doesn't it?...

Welll, em, actualllllly.....Mmmmm, Keys, well y'see.... sharp objects an all that...! Well....You know!

Lord Brit

Iain wrote: I fear you are a little sore over the whole foreign thing, perhaps it's because the "Great British" empire only extends to an island off Argentina and Northern Ireland these days?

the movie Trainspotting by Danny Boyle, from an Irvine Welsh book wrote:I hate being Scottish. [...] Some people hate the English, but I don't. They're just wankers. We, on the other hand, are colonized by wankers. We can't even pick a decent culture to be colonized by. We are ruled by effete arseholes.